I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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