just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
