Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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