HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
