ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
