Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Even my vagina gasped.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
