is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
