So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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