Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
