On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This baby is an asshole
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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