I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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