it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
