chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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