I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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