that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
