I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
