I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
