Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
