Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
