Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
