I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
