You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Who died my cat blue again?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
