Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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