uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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