it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
