i would punch a child for taco bell
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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