Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
