I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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