yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So vagazzling was a success
Randomize
