Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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