wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
