speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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