Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
