I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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