Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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