It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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