ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize