she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
