bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
