I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
