May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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