I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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