Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
