Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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