I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
