bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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