I'm jealous of your bromance
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
