Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
