sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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