just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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