You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
