I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
